God comes first
I never had the so called boyfriend. I met someone, got married and repeated this. The first one was a wealthy guy who has regularly beaten me to the hospital and after this I was simply replaced by somebody else. After that I’ve been on my own for some time until I met the so called boyfriend. I resisted falling in love with him, but I did. He was Mr. Perfect. We never had a fight. He carried me on the hands and never got cross with me. I really started loving him deeply. I loved him more than I ever loved any person before. Everything was perfect, but one morning when I put on my computer I had an e-mail from him. Three sentences only… he doesn’t see his way open any more. It really felt as if somebody has ripped my heart from my chest.
I immediately put in a month’s leave, bought a motorbike and got off. I hoped never to return home again. I totally lost my trust in love. The only time in my life when things were simply fantastic, God took it away… I was terribly disappointed and angry.
Every Sunday I stood in church longing for him. I cried and I didn’t care what people thought of me. One morning in church God talked to me loud and clear… we sang a love song to God and guess what? I thought of my loved one.
I think this is when God decided enough is enough! He spoke to me and then I knew why He took away my loved one. He was more imported to me than God. I stood guilty and ashamed before God.
I isolated myself and prayed for months thereafter. I went out with friends but my heart was stone-dead. Every morning I went jogging and upon my return I prayed and talked to God. Someone one day told me that my relationships do not work out because I do not give God a chance.
God has a partner in mind for me but the time is not right yet. I talked to God again and told Him that I don’t want to meet someone again. I want to be alone. Once again God spoke to me and said that it’s not meant to be that way. He will send the person to me – I simply have to be patient. God once again repaired my trust in love.
So learn to listen and be patient. Sometimes He has to talk to us loud and clear before we understand what He wants to say to us. I will never ever again see anybody as more important than my God, never mind how much I love him. My person has not arrived yet, but I pray every day for him, because I know when the time is right, he will come. Praise the Lord!
25In heaven, God, I have only you. And if I am with you, what on earth could I want?