Ephesians 5:21-33

Very discouraged, Hettie wrote me an e-mail:

I love my husband very much and I believe he loves me just as much, but he is addicted to pornography and recently I saw on his phone that he had again looked at a website of naked women and women wearing next to nothing.

Some of his friends regularly send him disgusting videos on his cell phone. I cannot stand it any longer and when I talk to him about it, he becomes so angry with me that I now rather say nothing, but as a result I feel as if I’m not good enough for him – I’m not beautiful or sexy enough for him. It makes me feel as if he doesn’t care for me at all and I cannot be spontaneous towards him any longer, hugging him and loving him – I’m actually rather cold towards him, because it feels as if he’s using me for one thing only…

I wish he could see that if it was me looking at such photos and videos of naked men, he would have been just as unhappy – but it’s against my Christian principles and I would never do anything like that.

It feels to me as if he is unfaithful to me by looking at these photos and videos – it breaks my… 

I wonder how strong Hettie’s husband’s love for her is? Many men would argue, saying it’s got nothing to do with love, but if I understand love right, it binds together, not pushes apart. Love cares. Love builds up, it doesn’t break down.

Therefor: 25… Husbands/wives, go all out in your love for your wives/husbands, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.

Jesus is the example …

(just a quick pause here, because I have to tell you exactly what happened when I typed the words “Jesus is the example. My Skype program popped up. It’s an old friend to whom I haven’t spoken on Skype in years. Just a link. I click on the link. I nearly fell off my chair. A pornographic site! His Skype had been hacked. Can you believe it? Yes, I can. The devil is very sly!)

Back to the story: Jesus is our example in relationships. Love is to put the other one’s needs first. Jesus will do anything for God’s children. His love is so immense that He is even prepared to give his live.

The question is: How big is our love for our wives. How big is the wives’ love for their men? Is that love so big that we are prepared to let go of that thing that is driving the other one up the wall? Are you prepared to completely and finally let go of looking at sexy bodies and all those things you know are not right, and to spend your energy in a relationship with your partner? Are you prepared to give up the gossiping with your friends to spend more time with your spouse?

I suspect we do not always realize what our loveless actions do to others.

Let’s take Jesus as our example. Let’s compare every little thing we do with Jesus’ self-sacrificing love. Let’s really try and love the other one, despite… Let’s put our own needs to one side for once. Let’s get our actions in line with our status and simply love. Only love. Self-sacrificing love.

Reflection

Where is your love missing the target?

How can you start living love again?

What will it take?

Prayer

Lord, I realize that we are messing with your love. Even more, we are messing with our love for one another. Lord, we don’t want to. We want to get up and give love and give more love. Please help us to learn from You and to live love, whatever the cost. Even our lives! Amen